Ebonics Translators Wanted
Date:  08-28-2010

Department of Justice seeking to hire those fluent in Ebonics.
In an article more fitting for the News of the Weird, The Smoking Gun reported that the Department of Justice is looking for fluent Ebonics speakers to listen to, decipher, and transcribe conversations of suspected drug dealers. The alleged drug dealers would be primarily black, as Ebonics is spoken in the African American community. Of course, the clandestinely recorded wiretaps would be authorized by a judge beforehand, and would be legal.

For those who are unfamiliar with African-American vernacular, the DOJ apparently believes that conversations with dropped letters at the end of words, such as stan’ instead of stand, are as hard to decipher as Mandarin Chinese. According to John Rickford, a linguistics professor at Stanford, Ebonics is “Black English”. Others see Ebonics as the “bastardization of the English language.”

The translators of Ebonics will be vetted, and once security clearance is obtained, they will be working in Atlanta with the DEA.

Source: The Smoking Gun